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Adult Dating: 5 of the Worst Things to Say

Adult dating websites might seem a peculiar landscape at first. Body parts and erotic chat strewn about the place, with plenty of meet ups and hook-ups, sexy cam chats and kinky explorations. But that doesn’t mean “anything goes” for all members. Newbies can make the mistake of thinking all the fun means no holds barred or no rules and conventions, but it’s not true. Whilst not all risqué comments will land you in hot glue, there are definitely a few things we think are best kept in the brain, rather than said online, and here they are…


1: Racism, sexism, etc.

Anything which is clearly offensive is likely not going to go down well. Even if members have sociably-less-accepted thoughts, expressing them is only going to cause unwanted friction on a site which is all about enjoyment. In terms of finding dates, expressing such opinions will probably only limit the chances of whoever uttered them. The expression of these opinions could even lead to you being expelled from a site, or blocked by certain members, so watch out.


2: Snide talk.

Talking negatively behind people’s backs, even online, usually comes with negative consequences. Some adult dating sites having thriving communities in which members know each other quite well. New members coming along and bad-mouthing others is always going to upset somebody. If you feel someone has behaved poorly or said something offensive, it’s best to go through official channels (talking to admin staff) rather than tackling the issue yourself.


3: Personal attacks.

Nobody likes to be personally targeted in a negative way. Unfortunately, with a certain degree of anonymity, the internet can become a hive for nasty attacks. Thankfully people often jump to the aid of others, but it’s simply a bad idea to initiate or reciprocate personal attacks on other members. This includes negative comments about their photos and videos – after all, someone is bound to find them attractive, if you don’t then simply move on without comment. In our experience, most members are very positive about other people’s posts and photos, but there can be a few negative people out there and personal attacks will only hurt their chances of finding a date.


4: Sex too soon.

With so much sexual electricity on adult dating sites, it can be tempting to jump straight into trying to hook-up. Whilst some members might be into this, not everyone is. Getting hot and heavy too early on might put members off, especially if they need a little time to get to know you first. Wait for people to request pictures and videos, or to accept your offers before sending them. If you’re starting a cam chat, establish the protocols first – are they expecting nudity? Do they want to go further? It’s easy to ask, and everyone will appreciate you for it.


5: Eager beaver.

This isn’t quite a “what not to say” tip, but more of a “how often to say it” guide. Have you ever known someone who talks too much, or won’t leave you alone when you need a bit of space? The online equivalent is sending constant messages, leaving comments on everything they post, nudging and nudging and nudging, liking and liking and liking. This can seem desperate and may be a turn-off for many members. Enthusiasm and paying attention are good, positive things, but being too keen can seem a bit needy. That’s not to say everyone would be bothered by it, but it’s good to be aware of your level of interaction whilst online, just to improve your relationships and therefore your chances of hooking-up later.


So, when it comes to “what not to say”, trust your instincts. Don’t be overly negative, judgemental or needy. Really it comes down to individuals – after all, a turn-on for one person is a turn-off for another – but staying on the right side of “fun and friendly” always works best.

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